Wrapping up February.

I now have a 10 month old.

Her personality comes out more and more each day. She is running around the house and down the halls trying to take on stairs like an adult.

She loves her kitties.

She loves books and taking everything off a shelf.

She loves visiting her BFF. Their parallel play is so adorable.

She also loves her grandma.

I’m just so in love with her. My hope is to be able to foster her independence and growth through out her life. To help her to think and make her own decisions. To be globally and locally minded. I want her to love and live fearlessly.


Halfway Between 4 & 5 Months

I’ve always been a nervous person.  Having a baby feels like my anxiety has been turned up to 11.  The lack of sleep sure doesn’t help.  Being over 500 miles away from family that loves us doesn’t help.  The heat outside while living in a third floor apartment with no air conditioning doesn’t help.  The raging wild fire that is making ash rain from the sky really doesn’t help.

Things that do help…

  • Admitting I need help
  • Seeing a therapist
  • Having a husband that makes me dinner every night
  • Having a friend who will come take care of your baby when you are sick
  • Going to mom’s group
  • Texting my Mother-in-law all the time
  • Kitties

Kitties beware we have a rolling grabbing bebe on the loose.

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  • Baby cuddles
  • Sewing

Made bebe her first lovie.

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Being a mom is so much more than I ever expected.

Exercise and Reading


I started reading this book.  I was a little nervous since it was published in the mid nineties and well the cover is a bit dated.  I was wondering what kind of advise could this book give me.  Then I came to this page and realized this book was for me.


Now I’m enjoying the advise this book has to offer.


I’m missing my Mamasita today.  She died on April 7th, 2016.  While I enjoy the new kitten she is no replacement for Mama.  I am also diving into the Harry Potter book in this photo.



There is a kind of disappointment when one sees the “not pregnant” result on a home test that is different than everything I’ve experienced before.  Though I have to manage my expectations since I am at the age when these things do not happen readily.

I think I need to back this up a little.  At the beginning of April I had an appointment with a midwife to get the ball rolling with this whole have a baby thing.  I wanted to start right away, truth be told I wanted to start trying back in August of last year, but Alex had finals he wanted to put his energy towards.  So, while we semi-tried to conceive in April nothing came of it.

At the end of April three children in my classroom got pin-worms. Because of this my doctor thought it would be a good idea for me and Alex to treat ourselves prolifically. I thought this was no problem since we were only semi-trying and my period was due any day.  Then my period did not come and did not come and did not come.  It finally arrived after much stress, since you should not take the pin-worm medicine if you are pregnant and you should not conceive for at least a month after taking, eight days late.

For the month of May we actively avoided  getting pregnant.  My period came and went then I stated taking daily ovulation tests.  We had finally arrived at the moment of actively trying to conceive a child.  I could feel my expectations rising with each passing moment.  Especially, when Alex quips that we will not have to try for very long.  So, when I’ve felt exhausted and nauseous everyday this past week, I got my hopes up a little.  Then my co-workers asked if I was pregnant and my hopes soared a little higher.  Thursday we has a potluck at work and something smelled so gross I had to hold my breath while making my plate and my hopes went a little bit higher.  At this point I’m convinced that Alex was right we wont be trying for long.  I diligently wait until the morning that my period is supposed to start to test.  While I wait for the test to reveal its results I’m picking out names for both boys and girls.  Then I look at the results and my high hopes sink to the bottom.

So, I took my kitties on a picnic in the park because we had new windows being installed at home.  This cheered me up.  I resolved to try harder to conceive in July, because a picnic in the park would be a hundred percent better with a little human.




Reading and Getting Fit


My kitten is getting so big.  She is now Eight and a Half weeks old.


I’ve been going a bit over board with the pregnancy books (since I’m not pregnant), but I figure the more I know now the better it will be when I get pregnant.


I can get the kitties to snuggle if they are both asleep and i move them together.


I’ve been enjoying this book.  I love all the scientific research and the personal anecdotes of the author.

The biggest thing I need to do is get my eating under control.  I tend to eat lots of cupcakes when I’m stressed out.  I’ve been very stressed out recently and eating lots of cupcakes.  Though that is not the only thing that needs to be under control.  I need to eat more wholesome and nutritious foods to fuel my body  and be healthy for my future child.

The other thing I need to focus on is exercising.  I’ve been walking more since I’ve had my fitbit, but as my hubby has pointed out is that I need more intense cardio and strength training.



Zelda is getting bigger and bigger every day.  On Tuesday she will be 8 weeks old.


Zoey is coming around to the new kitten. She plays with her and has been snuggling with her as well.


I’ve finished my first pregnancy (or Pre-pregnancy) Book.


I’m trying to deiced which book to read next.

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